Family Blow Outs

Did you ever notice that when any holiday is looming there is always some sort of family melt down? Do you remember one of your parents going completely batshit over nothing and the next thing you know containers of food are flying through the house and someone storms out all pissed off?

I realize now why kids think their parents suck. The answer is quite clear: Kids suck!

My six year old has mastered the art of whining until she gets her way. This is the most effective form of torture for any sane person. Relentless whining will make men crumble to pieces at the will of a human being who can't even tie her own shoes yet (and I know she knows how to tie them, but she would rather pretend to not know so that I am forced to do it for her... tricksy damn kids).

Kids are always testing the waters to see how much they can control their parents. The worst offense comes when the other parent walks into a tense struggle between the wills of a parent and child and completely throws a stick in the embattled parent's spokes. The seemingly rational minded spouse will assumingly inject their 2 cents and not realize that the ridiculous battle has nothing to do with what is on the surface, but is a struggle for control of a given situation. Once the stick is placed and that wheel of control locks up, it sends the fighting parent over the handle bars and straight into a fit of psychotic rage.

From a kid's standpoint, the parent is fucking loony tunes at this point, because they do not understand why the parent is so passionate about something as simple as walking the damn dogs. The spouse has no clue about the damage they caused, and they tend to take the child's side because they think their significant other is crazy too, and now the child has even more reason to believe that their parents are weird since the parents will start fighting with each other at this point.

I remember being a kid and thinking about how unfair it was growing up - you feel like you have no say, no rights, and no freedom. Now that the tides have turned I want nothing more than to have complete control over my kids. The reasons are simple too. Kids are stupid. They will never believe any advice you give them and will always need to learn the hard way. Kids are fearless. They will put themselves in horrifying danger with no though of consequences - everything is now now now, there is no later in the minds of children. Knowing that, I do try to be a little easier going on them in terms of letting them fall down so they can learn to stay on their feet. But that is easier said than done.

I should probably wrap this up with some light side of having kids that makes it worth while, but fuck that shit. I'm a free thinking adult and I can choose to be short sighted too if I damn well please. Little fuckers.