Kid Torture

Why is it that siblings are programmed to drive each other insane?  My brother used to do it to me when we were little, and my daughter does it to my son all the time now.  I’m talking about the constant annoyances to make the younger sibling upset over nothing that they lose their mind.  This usually takes place in a confined space such as the car.  Visions of my Grandfather spinning around in his seat and threatening to pull the car over so he can beat our asses with his 18lb belt buckle come to mind as we were driving up 26 towards North Carolina yesterday and my daughter kept poking my son until he threw a fit.

This is not trained behavior either.  I mean, the eldest sibling has nobody to learn this from, so where does it come from?  I think it’s some strange instinct in all children to pick on the weaker of their kind.  8th graders pick on 6th graders, Seniors pick on Freshman, etc. – Why do they do this?  

I remember I wasn’t the type to pick on the younger kids in my high school, but that is probably because I took such abuse as a wee one from my brother (the boy made me eat poop on a stick – but that’s a story for another time).  But the kids who did were brutal, and it started the first day of school with name calling.  As you were inspected by the upper classmen, you were assigned your nickname that stuck with you for your high school career (mine was “Stedita” which was derived from the incorrect pronunciation of my last name, which in turn made me laugh inside since it was just a reminder of how ignorant the guy who made it up was – plus it really didn’t bother me).  Then, the first sign of any individuality was completely exploited.  Anything you did that was out of the norm was completely judged and sentenced to a reputation that would be next to impossible to shake off in the 4 never-ending years of high school.

I remember the first opportunity to experience this was at the first dance of the high school year as a freshman at Holy Child.  Now, when your 14 years old, you have barely figured out who you are and for a lot kids their sense of style is completely dictated by whatever their parents buy them.  For me, I was subject to my Grandmother deciding what clothes she would get me, which turned out to be a bad thing at such an impressionable and transitional age.  I went to Catholic school, so I was saved by the fact that I had to wear a uniform and it was the same clothes everybody else wore.  So, everyone starts out on the same page – a god thing in hindsight.  The fall dance came around, and what did I show up in?  Bojo’s.  What are Bojo’s you ask?  Picture knock-off Z-Cavaricci’s that were just about as lame as you can get.  They were worn by the type of people who listened to house/dance music at the time and were usually dreamt of owning an Iroc Z and used whole tubes of gel in their hair before they left the house.  You know how some fashions will get really popular and then Macy’s or JC Penney’s will start carrying that style just as its on its way out?  My Grandmother lived to think she knew what the kids were wearing and would by the most awful clothing for me.

The damage I had to recover from after showing up wearing Bojo’s and a turtleneck would be stifling to most kids.  I swear that there were girls in my class that refused to speak to me after seeing what I wore that night.  I learned a few valuable lessons from that experience.  The most important one was that the people who judged you based on what you were wearing at age 14 were not likely to be good friends later on anyway (although they really were awful looking clothes), and that you need to really give people a good chance to prove themselves before ostracizing them.

I didn’t help myself recover in the fashion sense when I started to pick my own clothes either, as the majority of kids in my school fell into the preppy category, and I was more inclined to wear a band t-shirt and Chuck Taylors, but I established myself as someone who was not interested in fashion by the time I was a senior and managed to get by on my personality more than my sense to not wear boat shoes like the other kids.  Its all about confidence – the more you don’t try to fit in by being fake, the more people seem to accept you as you are.

Does this answer my initial question about why kids pick on younger/weaker kids?  Of course not.  But I still want that damn Canon SD30.  And Flickr still rocks (although I have not paid for a pro account yet).  Here’s a picture from my camera phone taken yesterday up in NC: